In my next life, I've decided not to take my husband's last name. I knew that going through the name change process would be tricky and slightly difficult, but honestly, I didn't think it would be THIS hard. One of my friends tells me that according to Native American Legend, I would be considered cursed. Hell, maybe I am.
I decide to change my name from Janell Doe to Janell Doe Adams. Thus making my maiden name my middle name. Simple right?
Last week, I drive down to the Social Security office, because according to all websites this is the first thing you need to do to change your name. I bring my driver's license, my marriage license, passport, social security card, and had their worksheet filled out before I even went in. I wait my turn for a few minutes before being called up. I hand her everything she could possibly need to make this simple little change. At first she wouldn't accept my wedding license, because it wasn't a certified copy. It didn't have the raised embossed seal on it. I explain to her that I got married in Canada, and those lovely BRIGHT RED NUMBERS at the bottom of the license ARE the certification. She doesn't believe me, so she sits at her computer typing away for a few minutes. In my mind, I can picture her saying "Yeah, sorry, we can't accept this. It's not valid. You'll have to go to the court house to get married." And then picturing my husband blow a gasket, because the US Government won't recognize our wedding which we spent obscene amounts of money on. But she accepts it.
She won't however take my driver's license, because it hasn't been changed yet. Hold on...Wait a minute...I can't even get a new driver's license until I get a NEW SS Card. Isn't this a little backwards?????? She will accept my passport. Go figure? A few minutes later, the change is made and I am officially Janell Doe Adams. She hands me a piece of paper indicating that my new SS card will come in the mail in 10-14 days. What????? Aren't we living in a technology age? Can't you just print one up for me right here in the office??? Apparently not.
I ask her if I can now go to the DMV to get a new driver's license. No. Because I don't have the new SS card...And yet, she wouldn't accept my driver's license in the first place.....I want to smack my head HARD, because this really doesn't make sense.
This morning, I went to get my new drivers license, because now I have an official SS card. Yeah! I take the new SS card, marriage license, passport, and driver's license to the DMV. The receptionist, didn't like the look of my marriage license. NOT AGAIN... She takes everything and hands me off to one of those DMV people behind the counter...that's where the real trouble began.
DMV lady is a piece of work. She argued with me over the validity of the marriage license and wouldn't accept it. It's not "certified". Well, the Canadian Government says otherwise. She will accept my drivers license and my SS card. I explain to her that my maiden name is now my middle name. She tells me that's illegal. "It's o.k. for the SS department to have it that way, but THIS is the DMV!" It's illegal???? WHAT THE FUCK ???? How is this illegal? It was a legal name change. According to her, since my parent's didn't give me DOE as a middle name they weren't going to accept it either. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.........
My options at this point are Adams, Doe Adams, or Doe-Adams. I JUST WANT DOE TO BE MY MIDDLE NAME.....WHY IS SHE MAKING THIS SO DIFFICULT?????? She absolutely refused to make Doe my middle name, so now I am listed as Janell Adams on my drivers license. I am so insensed at this point. If I could have reached around the counter to smack her, I would have.
The last kicker, is that my brand NEW drivers licensed needs to be RENEWED on my birthday, THIS YEAR! I get to go back in 3 months and do this all over again. Yippee, I can hardly wait.
Next up is my passport change. I wonder how much of problem this will cause. I really do understand why women don't change their name. Who wants to go through this process??? Who wants to waste their time arguing with idiots over the validity of their marriage license and their choice of a new name. It's not worth it. Because now, I am stuck with the name that I didn't want in the first place. I can understand how women feel as though they lose part of their identity. It's that simple omitance and you're now someone-else.
