Fairy tales. All children are read them while growing up and base some of their future expectations on what they read. Watching t.v. and all the happy couples while growing up, leaves a person to believe that certain expectations will also happen for you. Wrong, wrong, wrong. We are sold on an idea and told its the truth, till the truth smacks us in the face and we are left sitting there wondering what the hell just happened. Because that's not the way tv and fairy tales tell us it will happen.
Take for instance sleeping. On tv all these happy couples are entwined with each other all night long. They hug, embrace, spoon and hold hands. I honestly thought people slept that way, because that was what was portrayed all the time. It wasn't until I actually shared a bed with my husband, that I learned that was not the case. We both have different sleep patterns and expectations when it comes to sleep. Sleeping next to him all night long is like a fairy tale...it's Goldilocks and the Three Bears. It's too hot. It's too cold. And hardly ever just right.
It's hard to sleep next to a person. I don't care who that person is. Those experts say that it takes a long time to develop a routine when sleeping next to your spouse. They weren't kidding. I thought we finally got it right until the other day.
We like visiting our in-laws, but have decided we don't like sharing a bed at their house. We have a queen, they have a double bed. Downsizing is not a good thing. My husbands alarm went off the other morning and he reached over to shut it off. When returning to his comfortable position, he manages to slam his elbow right into my eye socket, at the exact moment I was getting up. He managed to slam it so hard that I thought I would end up with a broken orbital bone. I'm sobbing in bed, and it really was an accident. I have to go downstairs and put ice on it for a few hours to get the swelling down. It was red and puffy all day long. A few days later, I have a beautiful black eye. And no the under eye cream didn't help take the "black" away, but maybe a steak would have helped.
I was teasing him all week, that sleeping next to him is hazardous to my health. Those damn tv shows, don't tell you that your husband may end up giving you a black-eye while reaching for his alarm. Do they tell you that you'll hit each other in the head while switching positions??? Or scratch each other with toenails and fingernails, and in the morning you wonder why you have a weird scratch or bruise that wasn't there earlier? Or that the sheets will get drenched in sweat if you sleep with flannel sheets, a down comforter, and your husband????? No. Is it possible to lay your head on his shoulder all night long, or rest your leg comfortably over his??? Sure, if you're o.k. with him getting a limb amputated off the next morning from loss of circulation. We get this nice romantic view of what it should be like. We are sold a lie.
And yet, people today are left wondering why some couples have separate rooms and separate beds. Probably, because it's never "just right" and they also go tired of having limbs go limp, getting kicked, bruised and scratched for years. Sometimes it's a war, over blankets and the room temperature. The battle lines can be crossed and you harmed, all while both of you are asleep. I just hope that we will finally get a routine, where no one else ends up with another black-eye.
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